Weepy Wednesday

Wow, it's been quite a while since I last blogged... sorta got out of the blogging flow 'cuz I've been feeling down off and on for a few weeks. I've been contemplating what to do with the 2nd half of my life and just don't have a clear picture of what, how, where, or when. I do know the why... because I want to follow my Lord and walk in His will for my life. I guess that's why I'm struggling with the next step -- I want it to be right. I'm just finding that difficult to figure out right now. Lots of paths are swirling in my head... going back to work (and if so, where?), going on the mission field, staying at home to be available for my family, something else??? What is it Lord that You want from me, what do you want with me?

In the meantime, I've been cleaning and organizing our home because I feel the Lord telling me, 'Get your house in order.' Doing that is easier now than ever because our oldest son, his wife and daughter have settled into their own beautiful home and we have a lot of empty space since we cleared out a lot of old stuff when they moved in with us last April. Our younger son really doesn't stay here much and is planning to move out sometime this month or next. So, we'll be empty nesters again.

We built our home 15 years ago so its now at the repair and renovation stage. We scheduled to have new hardwood floors installed the end of next week in the family room and master bedroom, but have just received an estimate for the A/C & Heater repairs we need to have done soon, so we're reconsidering the timing for new wood floors downstairs and new carpet upstairs. My husband and I both want to complete all the updates on our home soon so we can host visiting missionaries and other Christian workers passing through. We would love to host a Life Group again. It has always been an honor to open our home and spend time in worship, studying the Word, breaking bread and fellowshipping with fellow Christians.

I'm missing my hubby, Jim -- he has been in California this week on a business pleasure trip. He is actually playing golf at Pebble Beach which has been a lifelong dream of his. I'm so happy that he's been blessed with this trip and can't wait for him to be home tonight to tell me all about it and to show me his photos. He was away at a men's retreat last weekend where he was a speaker sharing about Studying the Word. Studying the Word is a passion of his and when he shares his passion it makes me so proud to be his wife and I feel so blessed to be married to him.

Another passion of Jim's is music. He is so gifted in playing the guitar and singing! God gave him a real talent for music; his mother recognized it when he was just 18 months old. Jim's mother was the organist at the church we grew up in and says that she could play one note on the piano and he would sing, 'Jesus loves me' in that key and with perfect pitch and then again in a different key... over and over, in whatever key she would play for the first note. Jim doesn't get to practice as much as he would like to, but when he does it is a blessing for so many, especially for me when he sings for me and sings over me.

This reminds me of my second trip to Russia... I had a crown fall out during dinner on our first night. It was painful and scary because we had to find a dentist. Our Russian friends and co-labors in Christ said they would find a good dentist for me and told me not to worry, but I was worried and scared! (You know, the whole growing up in the 1960's propaganda stuff about the USSR being so evil... it all came rushing back into my brain!!!) Well, Jim takes his guitar with us to Russia to lead worship with the kids at the orphanage, so he pulled it out and began to play and sing over me. He must have done so for more than an hour before I finally fell asleep, which must have been so tiring because it was our first night there and we hadn't laid down horizontally for close to 30 hours. I'll never forget how unselfish he was to sing me to sleep when he was so exhausted himself. That's just the way he is and it's amazing to share life with him!

Okay, I'm feeling better now. :)
God is so good! And so good all the time!!! Praise His Holy Name!